Bluetooth Transfer; Book Progress

Thursday night our phones discovered each other across a crowded smoky bar (ok, it was across a table at Cafe Hillel and they don't allow smoking, but hush).

After making contact, and discovering that we were compatible, I asked for permission and she granted me access. With permission granted, and a connection established, we fumbled around for a while I tried to figure out how to share my data with her phone. With much hesitation, blushing, and apologies, I finally figured it out and send her my packet which went straight into her address book. After that we disconnected and I had a cigarette.

The whole thing took fifteen minutes. I'm pretty sure it would have been faster to just type my number into her phone.

Book Progress

Relevant sources that I've read while researching my book, so far; I've got fifty more waiting to be read, and every source leads me to another several potential sources. I wish I had an academic adviser.

• Abt, Clark C.
• Adams, Ernest W.
• Archer, Robyn
• Bartle, Richard
• Bateman, Chris
• Bateman, Chris & Nacke, Lennert E.
• Bergström, Karl Jones
• Björk, Steffan & Holopainen, Jussi
• Bogost, Ian
• Brown, Stuart
• Caillois, Roger
• Calleja, Gordon
• Chalker, Dave
• Consalvo, Mia
• Costikyan, Greg
• Crawford, Chris
• Crawford, Gary
• Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaky & Abuhamdeh, Sami & Nakamura, Jeanne
• Deák, Gedeon O. & Ray, Shanna D. & Pick, Anne D.
• Deci, Edward L. & Ryan, Richard M.
• DeKoven, Bernie
• Eigen, Manfred & Winkler, Ruthild
• Ellis, Jonathan
• Ermi, Laura & Mäyrä, Frans
• Faidutti, Bruno
• Ferreira, Emmanoel & Falcão, Thiago
• Flanagan, Mary
• Fluegelman, Andrew (editor)
• Frasca, Gonzalo
• Ginsburg, Richard D. Ph.D.
• Gobet, Ferand & de Voogt, Alex & Retschitzki, Jean
• Goffman, Erving
• Henricks, Thomas S.
• Hewes, Jane PhD
• Huizinga, Johan
• Humble, Rod
• Hunicke, Robin & LeBlanc, Marc, & Zubek, Robert
• Izuma, Keise & Saito, Daisuke N. & Sadato, Norihiro
• Järvinen, Aki
• Johnson, Cynthia E.
• Juul, Jesper
• Kelley, David
• King, Darrell G.
• Klabbers, Jan H. G.
• Kohn, Alfie
• Koster, Raph
• Kramer, Wolfgang
• Kreimeier, Bernd
• Leo, Francisco Miguel & Sánchez, Pedro Antonio & Sánchez, David & Amado, Diana & Calvo, Tomas García
• Lévi-Strauss, Claude
• Logas, Heather Lee
• Lundgren, Sus & Bergström, Karl Jones & Björk, Steffan
• Luvmour, Ba
• Malaby, Thomas M.
• Mandigo, James L. & Holt, Nicholas L.
• Marinak, Barbara A. & Gambrell, Linda B.
• Maroney, Kevin
• McGonigal, Jane
• Montola, Markus
• Murphy, Curtiss
• Myers, David
• Nichols, Steve
• Parlett, David
• Piaget, Jean
• Poremba, Cindy
• Rodriguez, Hector
• Ruch, Adam W.
• Salen, Katie & Zimmerman, Eric
• Schijns, Guus
• Schmittberger, R. Wayne
• Sicart, Miguel
• Smith, Ronald E. & Smoll, Frank L. & Cumming, Sean P.
• Sniderman, Stephen
• Steinkuehler, Constance
• Stenros, Jaakko
• Stenros, Jaakko & Waern, Annika
• Suits, Bernard
• Sutton-Smith, Brian
• Sutton-Smith, Brian & Avedon, Elliot
• Taylor, T.L.
• Van Eck, Richard & Hung, Woei
• Vanderschuren, Louk J. M. J.
• Vygotsky, Lev
• Walther, Bo Kampmann
• Williamson, Rebecca A. & Jaswal, Vikram K. & Meltzoff, Andrew N.
• Wilson, Gabriel
• Winther-Lindqvist, Ditte
• Wittgenstein, Ludwig
• Woods, Stewart John
• Zimmerman, Eric

Yehuda

You're Fired!

Definition: "Fired", as in "Fired up!" - On fire, hot, doing great, doing great work.

Hey managers! Your task today is to go around your office and randomly tell people "You're Fired!" Tell them loud enough so that their coworkers can overhear. Pump your fist in the air and make the "Woo Hah!" sound, too. It's a great way to increase morale!

Two calls to customer support

The phone and internet services in Israel will give you special plans that last a year, and they won't call you to tell you that the plan is about to run out. Instead they will bump you to the new unfavorable plan automatically, hoping that they can screw their customers.

So I make these calls every year to review my service and find a better service, if they have one, or move to a new company if they don't.

Call with HOT

ME: What plan do I have?

HOT: You have 1000 minutes free to landlines for 39 NIS, and 20 AG/min to cellphones.

ME: So I pay 3.9 AG per minute for 1000 minutes of landline service, paid up front.

HOT: No, you get those minutes free.

ME: I pay 39 NIS for those minutes.

HOT: You pay 39 NIS for the plan, which includes those minutes free.

ME: Right, whatever. What are my other options?

HOT: We have a plan for 500 minutes to both landlines and cellphones for 69 NIS.

ME: So given that that is 30 NIS more than what I pay now, and cell phone calls are 20 AG/min, I would have to talk at least 150 minutes to cell phones for the plan to be worth it, right? Is that worth it for me, given my calling history?

HOT: That's us to you.

ME: What do you mean it's up to me?

HOT: It depends on what you want.

ME: ... Do you know my calling history?

HOT: Yes.

ME: How much do I call?

HOT: XXX minutes.

ME: So it's not worth it to me.

HOT: It depends on how many minutes you call.

ME: Yes, but you know how many minutes I call. You just told me how many minutes I call. Given how many minutes I call, you can tell me which plan is right for me, can't you?

HOT: No, it's your preference.

ME: It's not a matter of preference. It's a matter of mathematics. You have no way of telling if I would be better off in another plan?

HOT: It depends on how many minutes you call.

ME: ... (carry the 1, ...) no, it's not worth it for me. How much have I been paying each month until now on my current plan?

HOT: Between 45 and 62 NIS.

ME: So, obviously, it won't be worth it for me to switch to a plan that charges, minimally, 69 NIS, right? You could have just said that, right?

HOT: It depends on how many minutes you call.

ME: Sigh. Is that it? Do you have any other plans?

HOT: We have a plan for 24 NIS, but you pay 12 AG for every landline call and 20 AG for every cell phone call.

ME: Why didn't you tell me about this plan? Do I have to ask to know about each of your plans one by one? Are there any magic words I need to speak to hear about a fourth super-secret plan?

HOT: I don't understand. Do you want this plan?

ME: Given my calling history, which you have right in front of you, would it be worth it for me to switch to this 24 NIS plan, assuming that I call the same number of minutes each month as I already do right now, as you can see right in front of you.

HOT: It depends on how many minutes you call.

Call with Netvision

Press 1 for customer service, press 2 for technical support.

-1-

45 seconds of music

Press your customer number and then star, or just press star.

-*-

50 seconds of music

NV: Keyn?

ME: Can I speak to English customer support?

NV: Rak regah. [Transfer number 1]

90 seconds of music

NV: Keyn?

ME: Is this English customer support?

NV: Rak regah. [Transfer number 2]

45 seconds of music

NV: Keyn?

ME: Is this English customer support?

NV: Rak regah. [Transfer number 3]

180 seconds of music

Press 1 for English, press 2 for ...

-1-

30 seconds of music

NV: Keyn.

ME: I'd like to speak to someone who speaks English in customer support.

NV: Rak regah. [Transfer number 4]

90 seconds of music

Press your customer number and then star, or just press star.

...

Yes, boys and girls, this went on all the way to Transfer number 13, going through the same menus and the same people several times on the way. I finally said:

ME: I would like someone in customer service who speaks English to call me back.

At which point they took my name and said that someone who speaks English from customer support would call me back. And asked me if I would like to be transferred, instead of having to wait for a callback.

Shiva Impressions II

No More Sorrow

The correct wording is "May God comfort you among all of the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem." Many people add "May you know no more sorrow".

I'm not entirely sure how to interpret the last sentiment. I first thought that it meant that everyone in the entire world all should die soon and at the same time. Then I thought, maybe it means that I should die first.

Either way, I'm not sure it's a comfort.

Today I thought of a third possibility: I should suffer brain damage so that I can no longer experience sorrow.

Who's Comforting Whom?

The ideal comforter responds to your conversation, helps you talk about the departed, or tells you their fond memories of the departed. More than half of my visitors have been ideal. Some have been, uh, less than ideal.

One visitor type who is neither ideal nor specifically problematic is the one who doesn't know how to talk or respond, but simply stares at you. Luckily, other visitors have arrived whenever I had one of those.

How Long to Stay

I was told that one stays until one finds him/herself to be the longest visitor remaining and then new visitors arrive, unless the bereaved specifically indicates that you should stay longer. I now realize that this is because you will already have heard all the stories told by the bereaved, who is starting in on them for the nth time.

Another good time to leave is when the conversation lags for the fourth time and the bereaved is tapping his fingers on his chair and staring pointedly at you.

Words About My Father

A few words about my father, as painted by the ideal visitors:

People set their watches to the times my father arrived at shul for the past few decades. He rarely missed a davening, unless he was in the hospital or away, even during the over two years that he had liver cancer. He went up for an aliyah to the torah on the Thursday before he passed away.

Even the children in his community knew him, and he always had a smile for them. They were inspired by his thrice daily trek to and from shul. One ten year old boy wrote out how he felt about my father so that he could read it to us at the shiva.

My father helped found the early minyan in West Hempstead where I grew up. When he came to Beit Shemesh there was no synagogue yet organized, so he and my mom simply hosted the synagogue in their house for four years. One of the three minyans that they have in the shul on shabbat morning is, even now, referred to as the Berlinger minyan.

He spent the last 7 or 8 years at kollel every morning, and he loved it. He would never let anything go by; he had to understand it, and it had to make sense to him, or the shiur could not continue. He learned in chavruta nearly every shabbat afternoon.

My father grew up religious and stayed religious. He didn't always know what to do, but he always wanted it done properly. Whatever was proper, that was what had to be done, no excuses.

He was, in a word, determined.

Philosophical Pig Tales

Philosophical Pig Tales: the Origins of Modern Ethics Explained Through Retellings of the Classic Story of the Three Little Pigs by Katie Hatz

I so want this. This is the funniest thing I've read in a year, at least. I laughed out loud at every page. The entire text of all three stories, about hedonism, stoicism, and nihilism, is online. Warning: the pictures are not all safe for children, as they include topless pigs and profane graffiti.

10 Celebrities Who Changed Their Names AFTER They Were Already Successful

And I'm not counting people who take on the last name of their spouse (Courtney Cox), or who legally change their name to match their successful stage name (Miley Cyrus, Cher).

10. James Joseph McGuinn III, called Jim, was the lead singer of the Byrds. The Byrds had already scored their big hits by 1967, when Jim decided that his name was too plain. He wrote to Muhammad Subuh Sumohadiwidjojo, aka Bapak, the founder of the spiritual movement Subud, with ten name suggestions and asked him to pick one. Bapak picked "Roger", having told him that a new name would better vibrate with the universe.

9. In 2004, following several years of kabbalah study, Madonna (born Madonna Louise Ciccone) changed her name to Esther, which the Talmud relates may be the Persian word for "star", but probably is simply a bastardization of the goddess Ishtar. Should have gone with Cokhava.

8. Lisa Michelle Boney was a teenager on The Cosby Show, and an adult in the movie Angel Heart. After divorcing Lenny Kravitz, she changed her name to Lilakoi Moon, and went on to name her second and third child (born from father Jason Momoa) Lola Iolani Momoa and Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa.

7. Terry Marsh was an undefeated light welterweight boxer, since retired. In the UK 2010 election, Marsh changed his name to "None of the Above X" and put himself on the ticket in South Basildon and East Thurrock, to protest the lack of such an option on the ballot (a party may not call themselves None of the Above, but a person may). He is now legally known as Mr X.

6. Terence Trent Howard is better known by his stage name Terence Trent D'Arby. However, following a successful musical career in the late 1980s and 1990s, he changed his name in 2001 to Sananda Maitreya, after he had a series of dreams that told him to. He used this change to start an independent label.

5. Elvis Costello, born Declan Patrick MacManus, legally changed his name back to Declan Patrick Aloysius MacManus in 1986. For some reason. And this is the only post by an Israeli/Jew about Elvis Costello that is not about that other topic.

4. Whenever you see someone mocking pretentious, strange female singers, they're probably making fun of Jane Siberry, who has been making a career out of weird since the early 1980s. In 2006, Jane changed her name to Issa and got rid of all of her belongings except her guitar and a case of Miles Davis CDs. Over two years, she recorded two albums under the name Issa, while deep in soul introspection. She has recently changed back to Jane Siberry.

3. Chad Javon Johnson is a wide receiver for the Bengals. In 2006, in honor of Hispanic Heritage Month, he changed his name to Chad Ochocinco, making it legal in 2008. Ocho Cinco is 85, his jersey number. He soon intends to change his name to Hachi Go, which is 85 in Japanese.

2. Cat Stevens (born Steven Demetre Georgiou) is one of many who take on a new name when converting to another religion. In his case, he became Yusuf Islam. Yusaf has been involved in a number of controversies over the years as to how his strict Islamic activities can be reconciled with his earlier peace-loving hippie music, but, it turns out, the rumors about his support for extremism and fanaticism are overblown media inventions.

1. Prince (born Prince Rogers Nelson) changed his name to an unpronounceable symbol for seven years to protest Warner Brothers' control over his contract, music, life, and art. As it was unpronounceable, everyone simply referred to him as "The Artist Formerly Known as Prince", or "The Artist" for short. He eventually got out of the contract; however, "Prince" is currently a trademark owned by Paisley Park Enterprises, Inc.

The Longer the Line You're Standing On ...

... the less likely that it will have been worthwhile to have done so. This applies in Israel. I don't know if it applies elsewhere.

The 25 Strangest Board Games of 2009

See entries from 2008, 2007,  2006, 2005

+6 Bag O'Munchkin Babes

Following Steve Jackson's other release +6 Bag O'Munchkins. Aside from the weirdness of using these in a game of Munchkin - you can put one in front of you in order to gain a benefit during the game - SJ added a whole level of weirdness to them by allowing you to use the pieces in any other game.

For instance, you can whip out a munchkin babe to add or subtract from your die roll once in some other roll and move game.

This is so cool, that I hope the concept spreads (and I'll be stealing the idea for my next game at BGG.con, so look in your goodie bags).

Aargh!Tech

Architecture in the stone age. One player is the architect who sees a card with blocks in a certain order. The other is the builder who doesn't see the card.

The architect has to communicate to the builder using grunts and movements to tell the builder which blocks to pick up, rotate, and where to put them. If the builder does an action right, the architect bangs him on the head with a bludgeon. If he's wrong, he bangs him on the head twice.

Admiral Ackbar "It's a Trap!" Game

Based on the line from Return of the Jedi, this is a phrase-forming game using letter and punctuation tiles.

Beer & Pretzels

From the BGG description: Players throw coasters onto a table. And then they get money. And then they throw more coasters. And then they get more money. This very complex and detailed process repeats until the end of the game at which point the player with the most money wins, just like in real life.

At that point the winner will claim that Beer & Pretzels is the best game ever, and the non-winners (to be super politically correct) will claim that the game is fundamentally flawed, and most likely broken.

The BoardGameGeek Game

The game based on the web site, in this game, you play a game company trying to sell your games, and you also play players at a game group trying to acquire the best games for their group.

Designed by Richard Breese, the game features a thousand avatars from registered BGG users.

Bridge Troll

You're a troll who throws boulders to attract travelers to cross your bridge. Half the travelers you rob for their money, and the other half you eat. This allows you to pay for repairs on your bridge. From the boulders you've thrown.

The Bugman's Game

Each player has to guide his dwarf to the bar to pick up booze and grub and then make his way back to his table avoiding trouble and piles of vomit.

Bunny Bunny Moose Moose

The hunter looks for the animals who casually saunter away, trying to convince the hunter that he must be looking for something else. While the hunter strolls through the forest, players try to look like an animal the hunter won’t shoot (waving their fingers over their head).

Burg der 1000 Spiegel

A box with randomly arranged objects where the only way to find them is by putting mirrors into the box and looking through the sides. And since you're all vampires, if you find the objects, you collect blood tokens.

Cthulinária
A web-published redesign of Invisible City's Cthul-B-Que. Capture and cook Cthulhu Mythos monsters without losing life, limb or sanity. End the game with the most monstrous dishes in your serving area.

Deadly Russian Roulette: Die or Be Rich

A game simulating Russian Roulette with foam bullets. OMG.

Doorways to WTF

A print and play game based on Sid Sackson's games Doorways to Adventure and Doorways to Horror. You watch specific Youtube videos, looking for clues.

EAT

Pick the dish you want to try to eat from the buffet, roll the dice and see if you manage to force it down or if you lose your lunch. Be careful not to eat too many different flavors and avoid gross food if you can while you race to victory.

Eine gegen Eine

No information is given about the game contents, genre, or rules, and there is no rulebook. Part of the game is to discover how to play using the contents.

Fictional Rummy
A game with no components. The object is to describe the hand of cards you would have gotten, if you had actually been drawing cards. The best fictional hand wins.

The Game of Life: Extreme Reality Edition

It's Life, but you might get married while skydiving or give birth to sextuplets. And it's published by Hasbro.

HFP - Hard Furry Pets
Players become little anthropomorphic animals who try to charm sweet girls of wavering morality.

Hamster Combat

Hamster martial arts. 'Nuff said.

Insult Bingo

Bingo cards, where each space is an insult or vulgarity. Players take turns reading (shouting) the spaces, marking them off on their own card as appropriate.

Mr. Bacon's Big Adventure

Navigate your way through the Mustard Marsh, cross the eerie expanse of Wiener Wasteland and sail on the Sausage Sea. If you make it past the deceptive detour of Vegan Alley and avoid getting grounded in Gristle Grotto, you might just make it to the Great Frying Pan at the end of the trail.

Poo: The Card Game

Players are monkeys in the zoo having a fight ...

Poopsock! The MMORPG Addict Card Game

A card game poking fun at MMORPG players. A poopsock is an item that allows a player not to have to go to the bathroom, thus avoiding wasting valuable level-up time.

Red Shirts

Your goal is to kill off your opponents' Star Trek security personnel. Of course, they all eventually die in the end.

Top Ten: The Ten Commandments

Players battle over creating a new version of the ten commandments. Each player has a different goal.

Win, Lose, or Banana

The game comes with three cards. Pick one to find out if you win, lose, or banana.

The Countdown Roundup

I've been counting down the days to see Rachel on Facebook. For those that don't have me in their Facebook feed, here is how the last 84 days went:

• 84 days to go
• 83 days to go
• 82 days to go
• 81 days
• 80 days
• 79 days
• 77 days
• 76 days
• 73 days ... if you're keeping track, this only proves that I don't know how to count. (P.S. I will see Rachel on Nov 2) [I skipped two days inadvertently]
  
• 72 days
• 71 days
• 70 days, or exactly 10 weeks
• 69 days
• 68 days, which is also the name of a pretty good band
• 67 days, which is also the number of days that some random couple Kyle and Stacey will be goofing off in Orlando, FL, courtesy of the Orlando Visitor's Bureau, starting today.
• 66 days, which is also the number of days that some freak took to swim the Amazon river.
• 65 days, also the name of another pretty rocking band "65 Days of Static"
• 64 days, also the amount of time it took two guys on bikes and a documentary crew to cross the US. The documentary film For Thousands of Miles is in post-production and will probably be released under CC. The "making of" is vlog'd and called 64 days.
• 63 days, which is apparently enough time to run 63 marathons to raise awareness for ataxia-telangiectasia.
• 62 days, or the average gestation period for a cat (according to some sources, for some cats)
• 61 days, also the number of days it took to shoot the movie E.T.
• 60 days, or the longest period of time that would not necessarily include a complete month.
• 59 days, or the entire lifespan of the shortest-lived vertebrate, the Eviota sigillata aka seven-figure pygmy goby.
• 58 days, or how long it took 11 year old Zachary Bonner walk from Atlanta, GA to Washington, DC to raise awareness and money for homeless children. Zach is in sixth grade. He's been doing social work since hurricane Katrina, organizing over 2,000 schoolbags for children, running 24 homeless awareness events, and now plans to walk coast to coast. Little Red Wagon Foundation is his NPO.
• 57 days, apparently enough time to circumnavigate the world solo, in a sailboat
• 56 days, or 8 weeks, enough time to make this. After 8 weeks, an embryo becomes a fetus.
• 55 days, also the name of a movie (55 days at Peking) about the Boxer Rebellion, where 130,000 Chinese attacked foreign embassies to oust them from China.
• 54 days, which is the average length of time that a Brit spends snogging in his or her lifetime.
• 53 days, also the name of a rock band - not bad, a little like a number of other nineties bands, but not quite as good as any of them, I'm afraid
• 52 days, or how long Gedaliah ruled before he was assassinated.
• 51 days, or the number of days that the sun doesn't rise in Northern Finland.
• 50 days, a Shavuot. Or a Pentecost or a Whit Monday. Or a Sigd (50 days after Yom Kippur, celebrated by Ethiopian Jews). Or a Feast of the First Fruits of Wine (mentioned as 50 days after the Feast of Weeks in the Dead Sea Scrolls, but not observed by anyone today).
• 49 days, 7 weeks, apparently enough time to learn to speak Portuguese
• 48 days, which is how long Siddhārtha Gautama sat in meditation under a Bohdi tree before reaching enlightenment (on the 49th day), whereupon he became The Buddha (some say 49 days).
• 47 days, which is how long the Matisse painting "Le Bateau" was hung upside down at the MOMA, until a passing stockbroker pointed it out; 115,000 other visitors and the museum staff hadn't noticed.
• 46 days, Phish. 'nuff said.
• 45 days, a documentary film about Demon Hunter, a Christian rock group.
• 44 days, a film about skiing.
• 43 more days of annoying Nadine Wildmann with this countdown.
• 42 days since she left, 42 days until we're together
• 41 days, apparently enough time to run 5000 km (3100 miles)
• 40 days ... hmmm, if only there were something biblical that happened in 40 days ... nope, can't think of anything. 40 Days is an album by the kick-ass Canadian singer-songwriter trio, The Wailin' Jennys.
• 39 days, enough time to reach Mars using a 200 MegaWatt VASIMR ion rocket engine
• 38 days, too long to be lost at sea
• 37 days, also a blog about living by a woman whose step-father lived for 37 days after being diagnosed with lung cancer
• 36 days, enough time to fight the Battle of Iwo Jima
• 35 days, 5 weeks. Five Weeks in a Balloon was the name of Jules Verne's first novel, and the beginning of his Extraordinary Voyage series.
• 34 days, or slightly less than 3,000,000 seconds (2,937,600)
• 33 days; if you tell one person today, and then you each tell one more person tomorrow, and so on and so on, then in 33 days the whole world will know
• 32 days, sing it Carmen Fraser
• 31 days, or how long it took Ford to pardon Nixon
• 30 days. Enter to win fa-bu-lous fashion prizes in 30 days of fashion.
• 29 days, JW Jones: We'll be kissing in 29 days, you know it's true.
• 28 days, a Hollywood movie about alcohol addiction that I have a mild desire to watch someday
• 27 days, an EP from a decent band called Erase the Grey, which the record label didn't market enough
• 26 days, also endured by Brad Ward, who, in 2008, survived an incredible 26 days without his IPhone (you can donate to other IPhone-less sufferers via his site)
• 25 days, also a song from a strange but wonderful twee pop group Hello Saferide
• 24 days, enough time to lose $19 billion (from the time Skilling resigned to the total collapse of Enron)
• 23 days, also a song by country music group SheDAISY, a trio of sisters from Utah
• 22 days, also a song from the 22-20s, often described as a cross between Jimi Hendrix and The White Stripes
• 21 days, or 3 weeks. Three Weeks is a magazine about the Edinburgh Festival and associated festivals. I want to go, someday.
• 20 days, also an organization that helps UK citizens make the most of their annual "only" 20 days vacation (in Israel, the minimum is 10 days)
• 19 days, still too long. Also too long to spend with a peanut butter jar stuck over your head.
• 18 days, also an upcoming cinematic and video game franchise about the Mahabharata from Grant Morrison (Mahabharata is an ancient Sanskrit text, part of the Hindu lore, that emphasizes the number 18; Morrison is a prolific comic artist and writer)
• 17 days, also enough time for Scientology to kill a woman by denying her psychiatric care.
• 16 days, also a song by Whiskeytown (fronted by Ryan Adams)
• 15 days, also a song by Kyle Alden. Kyle sounds a lot like so many other wonderful folk music singer-songwriters traveling around the country, under the pop music industry's radar.
• 14 days, a fortnight. An essential element of the FFF system of measurement.
• 13 days, long enough to throw the world to the brink of nuclear war (the length of the Cuban Missile Crisis).
• 12 days ... this is a hard one. I'll give you three of them ... one, two, three
• 11 days, if only they would pass as quickly as did Sept 3 to 13, 1752
• 10 days, also a series of fun games from Out of the Box Publishing (makers of Apples to Apples)
• 9 days! [Absolutely ... Story of a Girl]
• 8 days! From a cartoon the Beatles didn't like, featuring a song the Beatles didn't like.
• 7 days! [One Week, BNL]
• 6 days! [Jerusalem of Gold, The Six Day War]
• 5 days! [Patrick Nuo - Five Days]
• 4 days! [Humble Pie - Four Day Creep]
• 3 days; holy crap only 3 days. This is from the most famous 3 days of peace and music.
• 2 days! A movie I hope to see with Rachel [2 Days in Paris]
• 1 day ... enough time for over 23,000 children to die from preventable problems: water-borne disease, hunger, malaria, diarrhea, premature birth, respiratory infection. Over 8,000 children, over 24,000 people total, die every day due to malnourishment.

Now blogging from the airport ...

Necessary Invention: Yeshiva Stock Market

Yeshiva's beg for money to support their learning from people who make money, and then often feel superior to those who don't learn all day. That's chutzpah.

Back in the day, Issachar and Zevulun has an arrangement where one would learn and the other work, each getting the complete share of the merit for learning. Or so I understand.

I also feel entitled to the some of the study merit of those people I support. Whenever I give, I feel tempted to ask for some. But I don't know how much to ask for. If I give 100 NIS, is that 0.1% of the daily output of the yeshiva? Or a select group of students? How do I know that my 100 NIS wouldn't gain me better merit at some other more studious yeshiva, with better students and more disciplined finances?

I think there should be a yeshiva stock market. Individuals, study halls, kolels, and so on should float learning shares. That way we can evaluate what we get for our money. I want to support the yeshiva with the best learning (and good deeds) output. I want to know what I'm getting.

Yeshivas could report ... uh ... "mitzvaentials" on a quarterly basis: dafim learned (tested, to ensure quality), old ladies helped across the street, time spent delivering food to the needy, happiness quotient. We could more easily discover the yeshivas whose activities match our path. We could buy low (a yeshiva with unrealized potential) and sell high (when it's doing great). We could float shares. We could buy puts.

And best yet, we could sue for insider trading (you knew that the Rebbe's son was going to be accepted to your yeshiva, didn't you?).